One time a guy asked me out on a city bus and I accepted because I was drunk, 21 years old, he seemed nice and he complimented my top. He asked me for my phone number and I gave it to him because I was drunk, 21 years old, had just gone through a bad break up, was lonely, he seemed nice and he complimented my top. He called me a few days later, revealed he was 38 and told me we should hang out at his place and "listen to tapes" he made. Even though I was sufficiently creeped out, I didn't say anything because I was lonely, had just gone through a bad break up, he seemed nice and he told me I looked like a "cool, vegetarian chick."
I put on my black dress with a white sparrow in the front and my black heels to meet him for our date at the Capitol Theater in Olympia to watch Lord of the Rings. I got out of the car, walked over to him and noticed he was wearing a hemp necklace with a glass mushroom, a button up polyester shirt, wide leg jeans and tennis shoes. His hands were dirty, he was short and he smelled like weed. It occurred to me in that moment, Oh yeah...I don't HAVE to fuck this guy.
Just because he was nice to me and is into me, doesn't mean I HAVE to fuck him. Even if I was nice to him on the phone, nice to him in person and wore heels doesn't mean I owe him a blow job. I'm not into this guy. He is ugly, creepy and smells weird. Just because he seemed nice and 'had the nerve' to ask me out doesn't mean I owe him a date. Especially if I don't want to go on said date. I wanted to turn him down at the time, but I didn't want to seem like a 'bitch' and I wanted to come off as someone who 'appreciated nice guys' since, you know, they don't get all the attention they should (so the world had been telling me). But FUCK that. This guy was yuck. He was too old. He ASKED ME OUT ON A BUS. I don't owe him SHIT.
So I walked up to him told him I was cancelling the date and got back in my car. This was one of the most important moments in my life when I finally realized I don't owe anyone anything. Up to this point I had almost never turned down a date. Most of my previous boyfriends were people I had pitied. I should give them credit for being 'brave' enough for asking me out via a song about Star Wars he played on his guitar in front of THE WHOLE SCHOOL. He even called me Princess Leia and himself Chewbacca and how I should choose him over Han Solo! How shitty would I be to turn down this guy? He would CRY SO MUCH. I have had entire years long relationships solely based on a false sense of obligation.
Well, NO MORE. I don't care how nice you think you are. You do not 'deserve' or have any 'right' to my body and my time. If I'm not into it, then I don't have to do it PERIOD and I don't care how 'bitchy' that is. I make my own decisions which included choosing not to fuck some dude that looked like Jake Busey that I would probably regret to this day. This became a huge step in my becoming the self-assured, opinionated adult I now am and I owe that largely to NOT having the image of Shasta McNasty's 'o-face' in my memory banks. Thank you, 21 year old me for making the BEST decisions (meaning this, not that Jager incident)!